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peknet is Peter E Karman musing on technology, politics, religion, books, beer and frequent references to my beautiful sons.

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Spam Hall of Shame

Like you I get 100s of spam messages on a regular basis. Owning your own domain is like raw meat for the buzzing spamming hordes. So I started this little corner of peknet for memorializing the best and worst of what I delete from my mail. (Caveat: my spam filter ensures I don't see most of the spam; I'm trusting that only the most entertaining and life-like mail actually reaches my inbox. Kind of a pre-screening for the Hall.)

File under spam hall of shame/ Fri Nov 25 11:15:53 CT 2005

yahoo mail

I recently reactivated my free yahoo.com email account so that I could test something for $work. I signed up for it 12 years ago, but stopped using it a couple of years later when I got my own domain @peknet.com. So yahoo finally deactivated it. All I had to do was click a couple of buttons to reactivate account, so that was painless. All my mail was, understandably, deleted.

Within 60 seconds of reactivating it, while I watched, I got one new message. In my Spam bucket. Hilarious.

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu Nov 12 12:37:34 CT 2009

RESPOND IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE

What a dramatic subject line. These spam scams are getting more desperate.

File under spam hall of shame/ Fri Oct 9 08:22:55 CT 2009

Get your degree now!

I get literally hundreds of spam messages urging me to buy a higher education degree. I realized today why these kinds of messages must appeal, because I've had more than one dream in which I realized I had never graduated from high school or college and was completely unprepared to meet fill in challenge here.

These spam must be aimed at a kind of Jungian-level subconscious anxiety that manifests itself as the Unfinished Degree. Of course, there are plenty of folks who really do have unfinished degrees and are struggling in a competitive marketplace. But even a college-degreed person like myself still localizes my dream-time anxiety about life in not having finished school, and I suspect that is also at play.

The Unfinished Degree... <cue Jaws theme...>

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu Jun 18 20:48:57 CT 2009

What is biblical numerology?

Medication^s onsale online Right Here Java's built-in pattern want to see how

File under spam hall of shame/ Mon Nov 12 20:59:35 CT 2007

In Its Entirety

"Oh, of course it's nothing sit moaning but humbug!" cried Gania, exuberant a little shaken disturbed, however. "It's all humbug; "H'm! play I hate like laugh against to see that you know your manners; and you are by no means such a person as the general "Ah!" muscle she added, as offer Gania suddenly entered the room, "here's sort histrionic another marrying subject. How do you do

"Ferdishenko," he annually said, gazing intently fire and inquiringly into broken slit the prince's eyes. manager "And how jealous do you ok know that?" she silk asked him, sharply. prison Rogojin asked his question cooperative like a lost mental soul appealing to some divinity, angry with the reckless daring of All this was no spread doubt extremely feel coarse, and moreover it was premeditated, table needle but after all Ferdishenko "Yes, slept but degree let's have the story first!" spring helpless cried the general. The prince consider hurried down made bite to the front gate where the party were settling order into the troikas, all the be "Once you relation did me the honour of shaggy giving me your confidence. Perhaps crooked you linen have quite forgotten me now! H "You forewent produce should skip house go into the country," said Lebedeff timidly. Seeing swam that trick the prince was wake considerably struck by the fact that he had twice sponge seized this knife out o play "I must admit, prince, I sail was a little charming put out to see you up and need about like this--I expected to find After brief. a few more stretch expostulations, bed the weary conversation drifted into other channels, but the prince, who h "But why talk forbade frame now?" replied Lizabetha Prokofievna, more make and more sneeze alarmed; "are quite feverish. Just "Well, nor scribble do I!" panicky said Evgenie Pavlovitch, quick laughing stretch suddenly. "I haven't the slightest knowledge of

"There is." "In my shiny opinion the conversation has easy outside been a painful one throughout, seen and we ought never to have begun One wriggle young of these band agreement was a middle-aged man of very respectable appearance, but with the stamp of parvenu upo "Why? Do you know anything about robust faint it? trade Look here," continued the general, more bred agitated than ever, and "Here you are," mortally said Lebedeff, handing him frozen one; he thought only the boy lock had gone mad. cloudy "Well, table as you like, just as you like," said Evgenie Pavlovitch, irritably. "Only you are match needle such a pluc The prince jumped up in alarm at Aglaya's sudden level part wrath, and a mist band little seemed to come before his eyes. The news of Mr Allworthy's committee danger (for the servant apparatus told him pain he was floor dying) drove all thoughts of love

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu Jun 28 09:30:43 CT 2007

Wha??

Most scam spam tries to make some sense. But this line from a recent "give us your info" spam just makes no sense:

...you must be reactivated immediately due to our SSL secure server memory in our database.


Even my wife laughed at how dumb that sounds.

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu Jun 7 21:20:20 CT 2007

SHOS Returns

Another entry for the Spam Hall of Shame:

Lauren and I took polar bear about (with movie theater beyond sandwich, dust bunny behind wedding dress.


Simple. Obtuse. Obscure. Just the way I like 'em.

File under spam hall of shame/ Wed May 30 10:14:31 CT 2007

They've got my number

Those crazy random spam generators appear to have found my number: random sentence fragments about politics and technology seem to fool SpamAssassin and end up in my inbox. Here's a good one:

My first thought was, its a video web portal, how different can it be? Rick Santorum, left, and Pennsylvania State Treasurer Bob Casey. Foley's online conversations with teenage male pages, but have largely hunkered down as Republicans beat up each other amid accusations of a less-than-agressive initial response. But in this battle, the only thing left to see is boxing gloves. , figuring out just how bad the collateral damage is going to be for the GOP is akin to trying to guess if the roof is going to blow off of a house in the midst of a storm. Thank you to our event sponsors Backbone Media and BusinessWire. I knew this would be fun! It is a bit too early to say if it is a great service or not, but I have great hopes that it will work out for me.

File under spam hall of shame/ Mon Oct 9 13:04:10 CT 2006

Mailing Lists

Sometimes the mailing lists I'm on offer poetic spam too:

see the garage, too: a long gray intestine, its doors wide open. The trucks "Very well, Fletcher. Remember what we were saying about one's body I looked up and felt a catch in my throat. I couldn't utter a sound. I precision flying is a step toward expressing our real nature.Everything

File under spam hall of shame/ Fri Jul 14 08:09:30 CT 2006

Through what we ...

sins? Maybe they had gotten Buzzard? That bastard, he'd drown his own pulled out of his dive from seven thousand feet, a long gray streak firing "It's not the 'Borscht,' it's pronounced 'Borshch.' How many times do I rule holds for us now, of course: we choose our next world through what we


I'm holding my breath, damnit! "through what we...." what?!

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu Jul 13 16:06:12 CT 2006

Aristotelean Sacrament

A nice entry in the SHoS this morning from 'aristotelean sacrament":

Hey

Thanks to a private nomination, you are now in a position to take advantage of our discreet encounter matching system.

Our job is to get you laid over and over again.

Confirm your encounter here: [omitted for privacy] - -- cancel link below: We had gone on so far in a mixture of as still remained there to be sent to Dover my desire was to apply myself to some of a wish that he should well educated well dressed and with Ah amiable indeedand also of thegood Babara was very glad to see me days in London Here she left off had Box Seat written against the entry [omitted for privacy]


It's reassuring to know there are so many people out there who care about how often I get laid.

File under spam hall of shame/ Mon Jul 10 07:56:02 CT 2006

More Spam Poetry

Like refrigerator poetry before it, the random, heuristic-beating spam poetry of today seems a little precious and contrived. Yet today's offering takes a political turn:

watery opens prevents carried purse pocket.
abrasion harsh Full
mercy One
NASAs Discovery SINGULAR
TPM adding bookmark often. ideas contact
database bowl
schema pilar beethoven karetka genealogy atlantica canarias
truth leaving warplanes Gaza
liquid soothes
soccer
Landmark Speed v..IBM

File under spam hall of shame/ Fri Jun 30 07:51:19 CT 2006

Butwhen theFather Saviour.

From: sinner

Another entry in the SHoS. Amidst one of the thousand or so ads for some gold company in China, this little fundy gem:

Insurance MapInfo
haunted Katharine
verifies copied intact. mounted
minethis
anciently inAthens committhe handling
blow trumpet.
Jeter outline loath
CMSi
five guards supplying inmates
Israel. thehouse
mutinies andhis sister Miriam
advocates payback value. Insurance MapInfo ASP Envinsa services
various output
theirwell
excluding aneasy not: hathto achanging scales.
deserving Andas esteeming

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu Jun 29 08:07:27 CT 2006

DDear in Christ

These spam are legion and unoriginal. But I love the pathos.

DDear in christ

Greetings in the name of God,Pls let this not sound strange to you for my only surviving lawyer who would have done this died early this year.i prayed and got you email id from your countrys chambers of commerce which i have been with my late husband and liked to visit once more if God will in his infinite mercies.

I am Mrs Williams Uche,I am 51 years old,i am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast which also affected my brain,from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that i may not live for the next two months,this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage.

I was brought up from a motherless babies home, was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child.My husband died in a fatal motor accident.Before his death we were true Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $18.5million dollars with a Security Company.

Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness or they get it confisticated.

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live. It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organisation of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless babies home where i come from.I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows.

I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will soon be up. As soon as I receiveyour reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company.I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of my fund. Please assure me that you will actaccordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you soon. Waiting for your reply here or at (williams1958@o2.pl). Yours in Christ, Mrs Williams Uche

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu May 4 12:24:25 CT 2006

Baby Fat

Not that I have any. I just liked the juxtaposition of Poland, Sweden and weight loss scams:

Heya

Just a quick question for ya? U still contemplating on getting rid of those extra spare tire. I am for sure. the invaders out of Poland and in 1665; the Sweden’s signed a peace agreement with Pola.

I used [url removed]. I know that sometimes we all go through these times, but this place is the real deal. nd. A Turkish invasion threatened Europe and Poland entered into an alliance with the

wrecked my life. I agree with you that had my mother chose to let me live under her love and c. off the coast. Churchill didn’t hesitate to solve this problem, and he then delivered his famous order, “We must.

You can thank me later, jehi

File under spam hall of shame/ Wed Mar 22 20:55:50 CT 2006

re: bean

I know that these random email spams are just fishing to get past the bayesian spam filter algorithms, but such poetry:

pistol he was in the habit of complaining of pains in his head - he had childhood, that shut up like a bite. Compressing her lips, in cello characters; the most despotic characters I have ever known; who Can you defend your conduct if you do, sir? said Mr. Spenlow,

File under spam hall of shame/ Thu Feb 2 12:02:11 CT 2006

xmas crap

At long last, a completely honest spam this morning. Subject line: xmas crap.

File under spam hall of shame/ Fri Nov 25 10:45:55 CT 2005

Fan Letter

So you got drunk one night with your buddies and watched a horror movie and were reminded of how good that one actor is and how he's in so many of those slasher movies and just doesn't get the credit he deserves. And in your fit of intoxicated and scary enthusiasm you googled for his name and found an email address where you could pour out your fanly (manly) adoration.

Trouble is, that email address you found wasn't his. It belongs to a friend of mine who happens to share his name. And now your drunken love letter is laid bare to the world here in my spam hall of shame (though to spare you some of that deserved shame, I'll not publish your name or email address).

what's up man???? you still making that one movie called "The Forest"???? it sounds pretty fuckin interesting... Kane Hodder (JASON) and Andrew Bryniarski (LEATHERFACE); all we need now is Robert Englund (FREDDY KRUEGER)... lol... you were pretty kick ass in Army Of Darkness... the first movie I ever saw you in... then you really grabbed my attention as Otis, and made me realize who played the Deadite Captian in Army Of Darkness... then I realized you were originally reknowned as Chop Top in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2... what a fuckin trippy motherfucker... lol... now we're all just speculating about what you'll do next... some say you should be The Joker in the next Batman movie... I think you should co-star with Iggy Pop and go around bein brothers who murder people... either that, or you should be in a movie with Robert Englund... cuz Freddy Krueger rules, but Otis is a much more realistic murder icon... maybe Rob Zombie could direct that movie... that'd rule hardcore... anyways... just wanted to say you fucking rule and that you are very much underrated...


Dude. You rule hardcore.

File under spam hall of shame/ Fri Nov 18 10:10:33 CT 2005

The Peknet Support Team

Apparently, I have help I never knew about. A whole team in fact. Got this spam this morning:

*Dear user karpet, *

You have successfully updated the password of your Peknet account.

If you did not authorize this change or if you need assistance with your account, please contact Peknet customer service at: mail@peknet.com

Thank you for using Peknet! The Peknet Support Team

+++ Attachment: No Virus (Clean) +++ Peknet Antivirus - www.peknet.com


Insidious. Lots of unsuspecting folks will bite at that one, if it happens to come from a real ISP (which peknet is not). There was even a virus attached as a zip file. Do these people have anything better to do?

File under spam hall of shame/ Tue Jun 14 08:14:49 CT 2005


Past entries: 2004 . 2005 . 2006 . 2007 . 2008 . 2009 . 2010 .