Category: spam

Aristotelean Sacrament

A nice entry in the SHoS this morning from ‘aristotelean sacrament”:

Hey

Thanks to a private nomination, you are now in a position to take advantage of our discreet encounter matching system.

Our job is to get you laid over and over again.

Confirm your encounter here: [omitted for privacy] – — cancel link below: We had gone on so far in a mixture of as still remained there to be sent to Dover my desire was to apply myself to some of a wish that he should well educated well dressed and with Ah amiable indeedand also of thegood Babara was very glad to see me days in London Here she left off had Box Seat written against the entry [omitted for privacy]

It’s reassuring to know there are so many people out there who care about how often I get laid.

More Spam Poetry

Like refrigerator poetry before it, the random, heuristic-beating spam poetry of today seems a little precious and contrived. Yet today’s offering takes a political turn:

watery opens prevents carried purse pocket.
abrasion harsh Full
mercy One
NASAs Discovery SINGULAR
TPM adding bookmark often. ideas contact
database bowl
schema pilar beethoven karetka genealogy atlantica canarias
truth leaving warplanes Gaza
liquid soothes
soccer
Landmark Speed v..IBM

Butwhen theFather Saviour.

From: sinner

Another entry in the SHoS. Amidst one of the thousand or so ads for some gold company in China, this little fundy gem:

Insurance MapInfo
haunted Katharine
verifies copied intact. mounted
minethis
anciently inAthens committhe handling
blow trumpet.
Jeter outline loath
CMSi
five guards supplying inmates
Israel. thehouse
mutinies andhis sister Miriam
advocates payback value. Insurance MapInfo ASP Envinsa services
various output
theirwell
excluding aneasy not: hathto achanging scales.
deserving Andas esteeming

DDear in Christ

These spam are legion and unoriginal. But I love the pathos.

DDear in christ

Greetings in the name of God,Pls let this not sound strange to you for my only surviving lawyer who would have done this died early this year.i prayed and got you email id from your countrys chambers of commerce which i have been with my late husband and liked to visit once more if God will in his infinite mercies.

I am Mrs Williams Uche,I am 51 years old,i am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast which also affected my brain,from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that i may not live for the next two months,this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage.

I was brought up from a motherless babies home, was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child.My husband died in a fatal motor accident.Before his death we were true Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry,I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $18.5million dollars with a Security Company.

Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness or they get it confisticated.

Presently, I’m with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live. It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organisation of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization,the poor and the motherless babies home where i come from.I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows.

I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will soon be up. As soon as I receiveyour reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company.I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of my fund. Please assure me that you will actaccordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you soon. Waiting for your reply here or at (williams1958@o2.pl). Yours in Christ, Mrs Williams Uche

Baby Fat

Not that I have any. I just liked the juxtaposition of Poland, Sweden and weight loss scams:

Heya

Just a quick question for ya? U still contemplating on getting rid of those extra spare tire. I am for sure. the invaders out of Poland and in 1665; the Sweden’s signed a peace agreement with Pola.

I used [url removed]. I know that sometimes we all go through these times, but this place is the real deal. nd. A Turkish invasion threatened Europe and Poland entered into an alliance with the

wrecked my life. I agree with you that had my mother chose to let me live under her love and c. off the coast. Churchill didn’t hesitate to solve this problem, and he then delivered his famous order, “We must.

You can thank me later, jehi

re: bean

I know that these random email spams are just fishing to get past the bayesian spam filter algorithms, but such poetry:

pistol he was in the habit of complaining of pains in his head – he had childhood, that shut up like a bite. Compressing her lips, in cello characters; the most despotic characters I have ever known; who Can you defend your conduct if you do, sir? said Mr. Spenlow,

Spam Hall of Shame

Like you I get 100s of spam messages on a regular basis. Owning your own domain is like raw meat for the buzzing spamming hordes. So I started this little corner of peknet for memorializing the best and worst of what I delete from my mail. (Caveat: my spam filter ensures I don’t see most of the spam; I’m trusting that only the most entertaining and life-like mail actually reaches my inbox. Kind of a pre-screening for the Hall.)

Fan Letter

So you got drunk one night with your buddies and watched a horror movie and were reminded of how good that one actor is and how he’s in so many of those slasher movies and just doesn’t get the credit he deserves. And in your fit of intoxicated and scary enthusiasm you googled for his name and found an email address where you could pour out your fanly (manly) adoration.

Trouble is, that email address you found wasn’t his. It belongs to a friend of mine who happens to share his name. And now your drunken love letter is laid bare to the world here in my spam hall of shame (though to spare you some of that deserved shame, I’ll not publish your name or email address).

what’s up man???? you still making that one movie called “The Forest”???? it sounds pretty fuckin interesting… Kane Hodder (JASON) and Andrew Bryniarski (LEATHERFACE); all we need now is Robert Englund (FREDDY KRUEGER)… lol… you were pretty kick ass in Army Of Darkness… the first movie I ever saw you in… then you really grabbed my attention as Otis, and made me realize who played the Deadite Captian in Army Of Darkness… then I realized you were originally reknowned as Chop Top in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2… what a fuckin trippy motherfucker… lol… now we’re all just speculating about what you’ll do next… some say you should be The Joker in the next Batman movie… I think you should co-star with Iggy Pop and go around bein brothers who murder people… either that, or you should be in a movie with Robert Englund… cuz Freddy Krueger rules, but Otis is a much more realistic murder icon… maybe Rob Zombie could direct that movie… that’d rule hardcore… anyways… just wanted to say you fucking rule and that you are very much underrated…

Dude. You rule hardcore.

The Peknet Support Team

Apparently, I have help I never knew about. A whole team in fact. Got this spam this morning:

*Dear user karpet, *

You have successfully updated the password of your Peknet account.

If you did not authorize this change or if you need assistance with your account, please contact Peknet customer service at: mail@peknet.com

Thank you for using Peknet! The Peknet Support Team

+++ Attachment: No Virus (Clean) +++ Peknet Antivirus – www.peknet.com

Insidious. Lots of unsuspecting folks will bite at that one, if it happens to come from a real ISP (which peknet is not). There was even a virus attached as a zip file. Do these people have anything better to do?