So you got drunk one night with your buddies and watched a horror movie and were reminded of how good that one actor is and how he’s in so many of those slasher movies and just doesn’t get the credit he deserves. And in your fit of intoxicated and scary enthusiasm you googled for his name and found an email address where you could pour out your fanly (manly) adoration.

Trouble is, that email address you found wasn’t his. It belongs to a friend of mine who happens to share his name. And now your drunken love letter is laid bare to the world here in my spam hall of shame (though to spare you some of that deserved shame, I’ll not publish your name or email address).

what’s up man???? you still making that one movie called “The Forest”???? it sounds pretty fuckin interesting… Kane Hodder (JASON) and Andrew Bryniarski (LEATHERFACE); all we need now is Robert Englund (FREDDY KRUEGER)… lol… you were pretty kick ass in Army Of Darkness… the first movie I ever saw you in… then you really grabbed my attention as Otis, and made me realize who played the Deadite Captian in Army Of Darkness… then I realized you were originally reknowned as Chop Top in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2… what a fuckin trippy motherfucker… lol… now we’re all just speculating about what you’ll do next… some say you should be The Joker in the next Batman movie… I think you should co-star with Iggy Pop and go around bein brothers who murder people… either that, or you should be in a movie with Robert Englund… cuz Freddy Krueger rules, but Otis is a much more realistic murder icon… maybe Rob Zombie could direct that movie… that’d rule hardcore… anyways… just wanted to say you fucking rule and that you are very much underrated…

Dude. You rule hardcore.